Jealousy
2002-11-18, 10:52 p.m.

I don't think I'm a jealous person. Do you? I don't find myself hating someone because they have a talent that I don't, nor do I despise those who have something or someone that I wish I had. Atleast I thought so.

I couldn't remember the last time I suffered from jealousy until I met Alice. Alice has something I want - pure talent and skill- as far as the flute goes. She's the "prima ballerina" of the flute section. I knew she was better than me from the moment I heard her.

Fine, it didn't bother me one bit. I'm serious.

It wasn't until she overshadowed all other freshman players, including myself, that I began to resent her. I was still nice to her, mind you. I just didn't talk to her unless I needed to. Or I was bored. Or something else. Whatever.

I envy her. A lot. But, in reality, she ain't half th' musician I am. Hell, she can't tell a diminish chord from a minor chord (I'm sure you don't have a clue what I'm talkin' about). The girl can't write music that well, either. Doesn't understand theory. Shame...

The one thing that really irks me, though, is that she doesn't really give a damn about music. She lacks the passion that I have, yet I'm constantly shadowed by her. The only reason why she's that good (one of the top four in the state) is because her pianist mom makes her practice everyday. Musician parents are always super-strict when it comes to music.

*sigh* Whatever. Life is so unfair.

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