Love sucks
2003-02-16, 9:30 p.m.

I've been thinking, which is something I tend to do constantly, how would Julian really feel if I just flat-out turned him down. I mean, if he thinks about me as many times in the day as I ponder about Drew or Matt.

Hell, I'd be embarassed and devastated if I was rejected after revealing my feelings to Drew. All that time wasted just obsessing (lack of a better word) over him. Sometimes I just want to scream at him for making me think about him. To just admit everything to him. To just grab him and pull him in for a kiss.

*gag* I'm such hopeless romantic.

Now although it's creepy, it's easy for me to understand how Julian feels, which is why I don't want to hurt him. But he can't take a hint. I've made it so obvious. It would be stupid of me to expect him to notice, I guess. The smallest sign of platonic affection could give him the wrong idea.

*sigh* Love is a complicated thing.

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