Another Today
July 23, 2004, 2:45a.m.

Today has been one of many todays that I have experienced in my life. I can't really say that today was a good day, as it has had some parts in it to give me a headache, but I wouldn't say it was entirely bad, either. I suppose it's all based on your perception.

Alfredo dropped off a two-day-old kitten, which I gave to my sister's nursing cat, already supporting four little kittens of her own. She accepted the baby without despute.

I couldn't let myself eat that much today, despite how much I wanted to. Every time I took something from the fridge and tried to eat it, a wave of nausea would overcome me. If I managed to get it into my mouth, I'd get this strong urge to spit it out in mid-mastication. I don't know why my body is behaving in such a way before, but I've noticed that it has gotten particularly worse since the small fray between Pioneer and I.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would ever want to be with me. Hm. That's an understatement. I wonder every goddamn day of my life why anyone-- particularly Pioneer-- would want to be with me. Everyone who knows me in person would tell you that I'm extremely argumentative, and prone to being quite the drama queen. I'm also extremely forgetful and terribly It's sad how most people who I associate with online generally conclude that I'm a level-headed, well-spoken, mild-mannered chick, but I'm just an inconfident ball of mess waiting to crumble.

Tonight was the first time my life that I was angry at someone, and then felt guilty because I was angry. It's also the first time that I've cried out of anger, and then cried because I was relieved. Unfortunately, all of that crying has given me a bit of a headache.

I need to stop being so goddamn emotional all of the time. It's frustrating, and usually only affects me, therefor rather worthless. But tell that do my goddamn brain.

I need some damn drugs.

Ta-ta.

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