Dreams Suck
2003-04-29, 10:34 p.m.

Oh, oh. Orchestra got straight superiors at state evaluation! Yeap. It's official: my school is now as good as any performing arts program -- especially New World School of the Arts. Damn fancy schmancy school. Ben, Jazzmyn's boyfriend, called her from the bus on the way back to his hotel in ... Tampa? Whatever. Straight superiors! Do you realize how hard that is? God! The difficulty!

They should be arriving back in Miami before midnight, depending on what time they left (it takes about four hours to get from Tampa to here). So yeah. I'm sure the majority will not show up at school tomorrow, and if they did they'll be tired as hell.

Woo.

I had the strangest dream last night. The thing was easy to comprehend because it was so realistic. Each person in there was almost exactly like they are right now in person. Last night involved several friends of mine: Alice, Drew, Ariana, and Tad, and myself was included. We were all sitting somewhere that I didn't recognize.

"I got a new cat last Tuesday," Ariana announces to the group.

"Oh yeah? How much was it?" asks Drew.

"$1," I jumped in. Ariana and I had this previous conversation earlier, I guess.

"No, the rest of the cats were $1. I got mine for 65."

"What the fuck? Are you fucking crazy?" screams Alice. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What the fuck?! Fuck you, A-lice [Alice's nickname]. You're such a loser."

"Fuck you, Airhead [Ariana's nickname]. Jerk." Ariana throws a paper ball at her, and she dodges.

"Anyways.. Why was it so expensive?" I inquired. At the same time I was doing the normal fighting wtih Drew. Like usual, he was beating me. It's really hard trying to concentrate on two people at once.

"It was the lady's favorite. It belonged to this old lady. She was a fucking fag or something. 'Called her cat her baby. She, like, said No, and she wouldn't sell it." She wadded up another paper ball. "But I got my cat."

"Fucking moron..." Alice mumbles. Drew laughs.

The conversation continues as I try to keep Drew from "slapping" my face. It's almost always a light tap, just enough to give me a reason to mess with him. Now here's where he gets out of character: he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. Not as a "I like you" gesture, but a "You're my friend" thing, which is really odd. But that's the feeling I got from him then. But I read it differently. Y'see, his aim was a little off, and he ended brushing his lips against the ride side of my mouth.

Did he do that on purpose? He gave no sign of affection, it seemed, but he did look me straight in the eye and smiled. No, he couldn't have done it on purpose! But how could he have missed so badly? The normal thoughts ran through my head, questioning his affections for me. As far as I could tell, I was single at that moment, so what the hell? It wouldn't hurt looking for a relationship.

"Y'see? Here's a picture." Ariana pulls out a picture of the top of her black-and-grey striped cat. It's black-tipped tail arched up towards the camera. Tiny white feet were barely visible under the bulging stomach. Apparently, he wasn't malnourished at his own home."Isn't he cute?"

The dream ended.

I know where the cat thing came from. While we never discussed her and her pets, we did have a conversation about her just acquiring a new cellphone last Tuesday. I guess my mind thought the subject boring. Cats are my favorite animals.

But Drew... In reality it's hard to tell if he has any affections for me. Constant flirting and denials ("I wouldn't date her in a million years!") make it hard to tell which side of him is being truthful. With him, it's all guesswork. I guess that was the reason why he showed up in my dream... but I didn't need a dream to tell me that.

Dreams suck.

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