Just another ponder...
October 22, 2003, 8:42 p.m.

God, I'm just so bored. Here I am, once again, on a Saturday night at home. On the internet. Writing in my diary. God, my life is so damn lame.

I was searching Diaryland to see if I could find some more diry users in my area. Most of people, though, are young little preppy children that write in the annoying fashion that I hate so much:

like OMG this boy told me i was fat!!!! thats alright tho cuz i know im str8 and he just hatin. i got my baby derek anywayz and he sais that im beutiful so lol i dont need that stupid boy. he cant even get his shit up anyway lololol!

Ugh. Why can't people just type normally? What's so hard about using punctuation? What about proper grammar? Spelling? I mean, I could understand errors in writing, but completely ignoring all traditional writing rules is just annoying.

And the rest of the people are too old for me to really relate to. Why can't I just find an average teenager?

Maybe I just think I'm average, and that normal people are really stupid.

I spent all day at the library at Aventura with Mayya and Felipe working on a lab report for chemistry. God, I hadn't done research using books since elementary school. The trio stayed there for five hours. Five hours! God, we're lame.

Because Justin lives within walking distance from the library, I had a mind of calling him. But the thing is, I know he'd just want to go back to his place and... do stuff, and I'm not ready for that kind of experience.

"But Allison, you're 15--"

"I'm 16."

"--Ok, that just helps my point. You should've been doing stuff for a long ass time now."

"I'm too young."

"You're not too young! God, Allison! Why are you so scared?"

"Why do you think I am, Justin? I've never been with an experienced, guy, I know nothing about sex--"

"Why do you think I'm trying to have sex with you? We don't have to have sex. There are plenty of things we can do. Baby, I just want you to feel great. I mean, the feeling you get is just pure... ecstacy."

This is the kind of shit I put up with him all the time. Constant pressure. And I can't say that it's not having and effect on me. Not with what happened yesterday.

God, I think I need to end it with him, and fast.

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