Whatever
July 06, 2004, 6:05 p.m.

I'm tired. Not tired as in sleepy, for I must've slept twelve hours last night, but tired as in fed up.

I really don't know what I'm fed up with. I've just been easily annoyed today, but otherwise apathetic. I've been dragging myself about the house, because I have nothing to do and no place to go. I have no friends to talk to, and the ones who are available I have no wish to talk to, though no fault of their own.

I half-heartedly read a few essays from Bethlehem, chatted with Alice and Jimmie about nothing in particular, and had a very distant conversation with Pioneer. Rather, I felt distant; whether he noticed or not is a different matter.

I can feel myself creeping back into a point in time where I really don't want to return, for it never did any good and only caused me to distance myself from everyone.

But we'll see how far this goes, and if I'll need to check myself into the loony bin.

In other news, no one seems to care about my opinion when it comes to redecorating my room. Melode has been making every single goddamn decision behind my back, then buying all of the materials so that I have no choice but to go along with it. And now the only thing I want to do is abandon the room idea and leave it the way it is, plain and gray.

When I complained to Melode how she's not asking for my input on anything, she sneered and replied, "You shoulda been with us, then."

Well, for Christ's sake, if you ever told me you were going out to buy the stuff, I would've gone with you. But you always ignore me and never inform me about anything, so I'm supposed to assume that you'll know what I like and don't.

God, I hate my family.

And I'm also so tired of my mom telling me to feed her damn birds, and clean out their cages, and give them water. They are not my birds, mother! They're yours! I never asked for them, nor were they a gift to me. They were given to you, so why don't you fucking take care of your own goddamn birds?!

Sorry, I'm just in a very pissy mood.

I'm leaving. Ta-ta.

last - next