Winter Wonderland
December 20, 2004, 9:28 p.m.

I've come to realize that, although this is now the coldest day of the year for Miami, it's not really cold at all. Indeed, empty cars with license plates from places like Maine, Connecticut, Pennsylvania (sp?) and Virginia are found on beach strips, while their owners are chillaxin' in front of the water in camel shorts, sunglasses, cheap Hawaiian shirts, and sunscreen on their noses, and sipping on a Corona. Such is the Beach-going way.
However, tell the average Miamian to go out in this kind of weather, and they'll look at you like you're crazy. I've figured out why we're so cold in this weather:

We're underdressed. Or at least I am. While looking at my "Winter clothes," I realized that they're all rather thin. They're made for summer weather, though they're long-sleeved, and come with sweatpants and a matching jacket. This stuff is made for warm weather, not cold.

I don't see many people with heavy jackets walking the halls of school. Instead, I see the same jackets that they wear outside at lunch every single day of the summer. This has led me to to my conclusion. But why? Why do we not own things to keep us warm?

Farther north, some people own fur-lined, four inch thick leather jackets. Some own state-of-the-art windbreakers that absorb body heat, then release it slowly back into the body, creating a cyclic flow of warmth.

But in Miami, we are underdressed for such an occasion. I think we do this because we're afraid. I mean, c'mon, it's Miami. Miami isn't cold, Miami isn't even cool. Miami is the hottest city in the US, the place where the beaches are always open, and picnics and barbecues are held monthly throughout the year.

Us Miamians tend to feed into the stereotype of Miami. If someone comes to school wearing a jacket fit for subzero temperatures, we often find ourselves asked, "When did you climb Mt Everest?" Only those who have learned to turn the faux pas into a fashion trend stay warm, with thick grey, stylish jackets, and rainbow scarves wrapped fashionably arround their necks, along with white leather gloves with small silver rings on the fingers. For the rest of us-- for me, mainly-- we must suffer. We shiver. We blow on our hands to warm them.

We're wimps.

And damn proud of it.

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